


KISS Shows and Afterward

by tamibrandt



Series: Alice In Chains on Tour '93 [5]
Category: Alice in Chains
Genre: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tamibrandt/pseuds/tamibrandt
Summary: A Continuation of AIC on Tour '93, It's a Mad, Mad Season and, The Album That Goes By Many Names, MTV Unplugged.  The End.
Relationships: Layne Staley/Demri Parrott (mentioned), Layne Staley/Jerry Cantrell
Series: Alice In Chains on Tour '93 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1989022
Comments: 24
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

KISS was set to tour with the original lineup and they were going to have a rotation of opening acts on the roster. Stone Temple Pilots were set to open for them but Scott Weiland’s drug addiction caused Stone Temple Pilots to pull out so that Scott could enter rehab. The next door KISS knocked on to fill the slot was Alice In Chains. Sean had been part of the KISS Army as a kid. Growing up, Jerry wanted to be Ace Frehley so much so that when he taped his Christmas List to his bedroom door at his dad’s house, the only thing on it was the Les Paul electric guitar that Ace Frehley owned. Of course, his dad bought him a cheap acoustic. When Jerry voiced his dissatisfaction with the gift, his dad said, “Get good on that and I’ll think about buying you a Les Paul.” Jerry tinkered around with it for a few months before it ended up in the back of the closet.

Layne was Paul Stanley for three Halloweens in a row as a kid. You’d think he’d jump at the chance to open for KISS, but his own addiction had its claws dug in deep. Layne kept saying he didn’t want to do it and was so obstinate about not doing it that the band pretty much gave up the idea of doing the show.

Jerry had wormed his way into the sanctuary of the condo and was currently straddled over Layne’s hips on the couch trying to persuade Layne into changing his mind. Layne had dyed his hair back to blonde again. He moaned as Jerry ran his hands everywhere. He should have never confessed to the guitarist what his touch did to him even though it took him an extremely long time to get hard. The sensation of Jerry’s touch was ten times more erotic because no one else touched him anymore.

“Come on, Layne. Please? The guys are all fans of KISS. I’ve wanted to be Ace Frehley since I was a kid. You used to dress up like Paul Stanley. We have a chance of a lifetime to open up for our childhood heroes,” Jerry pleaded. Yes, he had stooped to groveling to get Layne to do what he wanted.

“I’m still an addict and you want me to go on tour?” Layne asked raising an eyebrow.

“It doesn’t have to be a full tour. They’ll have a rotating list of opening acts, not just us. Four to six shows tops. That’s all,” Jerry explained.

Sean was part of the KISS Army and Ace was Jerry’s childhood idol. Layne thought about it while Jerry was kissing and sucking a hot path down his neck. Layne really didn’t want to leave the haven of the condo. When he was here alone he wasn’t being judged by the outside world. He didn’t know if he remembered how to function in the outside world. Did he even have the strength to do a live show anymore let alone a string of them?

Layne gave a long sigh. “Okay, tell Sean and Mike they get their wish. We’ll do a handful of tour dates, but –”

Jerry gave a triumphant, “Whoo!”

Layne grabbed Jerry’s jean-clad thighs as the guitarist celebrated his minor victory. “But . . . Jerry, Jerry!” When he got the guitarist’s attention, he continued, “I love you but I’m not in a position to promise anything. I can’t guarantee anything.”

Jerry cupped Layne’s cheeks that were covered in a two-week-old beard and kissed Layne’s full lips. When the kiss broke, Layne said, “You didn’t hear a word I said did you?”

“I swear. I heard you, babe. Thank you for changing your mind,” Jerry smiled. They were going to get to open for KISS! He leaned over to the side of the couch and grabbed the phone. Settling back on Layne’s lap, he dialed Sean’s number.

After a few rings, Sean answered, “Layne?”

“No, Sean. It’s me, Jerry. I’m with Layne now. He said yes! We can agree to do a handful of dates on the tour! You can tell Mike it’s on!”

Layne could hear Sean hollering on his end of the phone as Jerry held the receiver. Jerry smiled at him as listened to Sean’s excitement. Sean calmed down and said something. Jerry gave an affirmative and hung up.

“Love you for doing this babe. You don’t know how many dreams you’re fulfilling,” Jerry smiled and then kissed him.

“Thanks for raising that expectation bar, Jer,” Layne said softly.

“Hey, you can do this. You’ve done so many things already that even Sean and Mike thought was impossible for you. We’ll take it one concert at a time,” Jerry said sounding hopeful.

A few days later, Ken Deans got a call from Susan Silver asking for help getting the band back together and preparing them for a tour with KISS. The band rented out the Moore Theater for three weeks of rehearsals. In typical fashion, the band members would straggle in at different times. Mike would show up around three or four in the afternoon and then Sean would show up and then Jerry would show up. Layne would appear around 9:00 p.m., maybe they would go through a couple of songs and take off again.

Ken Deans estimated a total of eight hours just waiting for the whole band to show up in one place. To Ken, it looked like Jerry and Layne were having problems. Layne more so than Jerry, as he could tell the years of drug use were affecting him. Ken hadn’t seen Layne in a long while and what he saw looked like a part of Layne was gone. Susan was coping the best she could and by Ken’s estimation, he didn’t see the tour going on for any length of time. At this rate, the band would be lucky to get through one show let alone more than one. He didn’t have high hopes.

During a backstage interview with MTV News, Sean was asked about his fondest memories of KISS as a kid, showing off his memorabilia from the 1970s.

“How old were you when you got that?” the reporter asked.

“These were in Seattle. I was about ten, probably,” he answered, flipping through more memorabilia. “And then my seventy-nines, and look, I got that from a stagehand,” he said, pointing to the vintage backstage pass from that tour.

“Don’t ask what he had to do for that,” Jerry laughed.

“I was young. I needed the money. That’s all I’m going to say,” Sean commented.

While Sean was gushing over his KISS memorabilia, Gene Simmons had caught up with Layne and pulled him aside for the same frank discussion he had with Scott Weiland about their addictions. “Look, you got to get straight, cut it out with all the drugs and crap. Respect the fans and get up on stage, do a great show. It’s all yours. We’ll support you, but I want you to clean on stage. There are the fans. They’re lined up. It’s all yours. Just go out there and do great.”

“Gene, I’ve been straight. I’ve straightened up for this tour. I’m good,” Layne said quietly.

The first tour date was on June 26, 1996, at Tiger Stadium in Detroit, Michigan. The setlist included: _Again_ _, God Am_ _, Sludge Factory_ _, We Die Young_ _, Them Bones_ _, Angry Chair_ _, Would?_ _, A Little Bitter_ _, Dam That River_ _, Man in the Box_ _._

Layne came out and opened with _Again_. His hair was slicked back, black sunglasses, black leather jacket over a black shirt.

After _God Am_ , Layne addressed the crowd, “How come so many of you dress like members of KISS, but no one’s dressed like me?” The crowd roared as Sean kicked into _Sludge Factory_.

Layne didn’t do the four short screams at the beginning of _Them Bones_ , but the short scream followed by the long scream a couple of minutes later was the definition of screaming pain.

“How are you doing tonight?” Jerry asked. The crowd roared. “That’s cool, cool.”

Sean came around the drumkit and took possession of Layne’s mic. “Guys, guys, be quiet for a second. Hold on. Really, this is serious.” Sean then went into a horrible version of KISS’s _Beth_. The crowd booed. Meanwhile, Layne snatched Jerry’s guitar and played an innocuous riff.

“Hey, give me that back. We still have a set to do,” Jerry laughed. Mike laughed as Layne handed the guitar back and went to the side of the stage to get his own guitar. “Oh, Mikey!” The crowd cheered at the comedy act. The band went into _Angry Chair_.

After _Would?_ , Jerry addressed the audience. “Detroit fucking Rock City, Jesus Christ!” He played a bit of the opening riff to KISS’s _Detroit_ _Rock City_. Sean kicked in with the drum sequence. Then, Jerry went into _A Little Bitter_.

After _Dam That River_ , Mike, who’s an L.A, Kings Hockey fan, addressed the audience. “I just gotta say one thing man: the Red Wings fucking choked it, baby! The Red Wings fucking choked.” The crowd booed. The band went into _Man in the Box_.

It wasn’t Layne’s behavior or Sean’s bad version of _Beth_ that caused a problem. Their set got cut short because Gene got pissed at Mike for badmouthing the Red Wings and kicked them off the stage.

Alex Coletti went to the Detroit show. He had come to see KISS as a fan, having traveled with some friends. They went to the front of the stage for Alice In Chains and watched KISS from the soundboard. He thought they were great. He was so happy to see the band on stage doing the show in front of a crowd that size.

Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan was also there, and he would later recall, “I saw Alice In Chains at one of their final performances, opening for KISS at Tiger Stadium. They played outside in the sunshine, and they were awesome.” He described Layne as “a truly beautiful man. Gifted almost beyond compare. My favorite singer of the 90s.”

**************************

The tour hit Louisville, Kentucky on June 30, 1996, where the band played Freedom Hall. Layne’s hair was in loose waves around his face. He wore a shiny silver jacket over a gray shirt and fingerless gloves. Some audience members would later describe him as a clothed skeleton. But, when he sang he was a beast and his voice shook the rafters in Freedom Hall.

The setlist included: _Again_ _, God Am_ _, Sludge Factory_ _, We Die Young_ _, Them Bones_ _, Rooster_ _, Would?_ _, Angry Chair_ _, A Little Bitter_ _, Dam That River_ _, Man in the Box_ _._

At the beginning of the show, Sean addressed the crowd, “We’d like to thank Ace, Gene, Peter, Paul, and Mary for letting us come out and play for you guys. Because that _Puff the Magic Dragon_ song was a huge influence on our band. It made us want to play rock and roll.” Then Sean dropped the mic. Layne picked the mic up and the band went into _Again_.

After the song, Layne addressed the audience, “Louisville, how are you doing?” The band went into _God Am_.

After the song, Layne addressed the audience, “Did you see the new Metallica? Mascaraca? This is called _Sludge Factory_.”

After _Them Bones_ , Jerry addressed the audience, “How are you doing, Louisville?” The crowd cheered.

Layne said, “The last time I was here I almost got beat up by three big truckers who looked like ZZ Top.” Jerry went into _Rooster._

Layne said, “I think these guys just let me play guitar to humor me, but –” Layne played ten seconds of _I Don’t Know Anything_ before going into _Angry Chair_.

After _A Little Bitter_ , Sean did his bad version of KISS’s _Beth_.

“Okay, now we have to do the mandatory crowd-pleaser,” Layne said as the band went into _Man in the Box_.

In the Louisville audience was an Atlanta musician named William DuVall, whose own future with Alice In Chains was still a decade away.

**************************

The tour hit St. Louis, Missouri on July 2, 1996, where the band played the Kiel Center. Layne’s hair was slicked back. He wore a short-sleeve button shirt over long black sleeves. He looked horribly thin and emaciated.

The setlist included: _Again_ , _God Am_ , _Sludge Factory_ , _We Die Young_ , _Them Bones_ , _Rooster_ , _Would?_ , _Angry Chair_ , _A Little Bitter_ , _Dam That River_ , _Man in the Box_.

At the end of _God_ Am, Layne said, “I think it’s been about three years since we’ve been here. So, it’s kind of like our reunion tour too. It’s good to be back." Jerry went into _Sludge Factory_. Layne sang the second verse twice, but he added the _Your weapon is guilt_ spoken line from the song at the end.

After _Them Bones_ , Sean sang his bad version of KISS’s _Beth_. Layne took the mic back and said, “What you just heard was a moment of the vocal stylings of Mr. Nose Tent.” Jerry went into _Rooster_.

After _Would?_ , Randy helped Layne put on his guitar and he played a few seconds of _I Don’t Know Anything_ before going into _Angry Chair_.

“Okay, we have one more to do for you, the mandatory crowd-pleaser,” Layne said as the band went into _Man in the Box_.

**************************

The tour hit Kansas City, Missouri on July 3, 1996, where the band played the Kemper Arena. Susan was at the soundboard with the tour manager, Kevan Wilkins. As soon as the band went on stage, she looked over at Wilkins and said, “This is the last time we’re gonna see these guys together onstage, Kevan, I just feel it.” She was right.

“Howdy, Kansas City,” Layne said as the band went into _Again_. Layne’s hair had grown out a bit with curls on the side. He wore sunglasses, a flannel shirt over a black t-shirt, and fingerless gloves. He looked so fragile, never letting go of the mic and standing in one place during the songs. But, when he sang the power in his voice was there. Sick, in pain, and deep in heroin addiction and he pulled off a final concert as he always did, wringing his entire heart and soul into the performance.

The setlist included: _Again_ , _God Am_ , _Sludge Factory_ , _We Die Young_ , _Them Bones_ , _Rooster_ , _Would?_ , _Angry Chair_ , _A Little Bitter_ , _Dam That River_ , _Man in the Box_.

Jerry constantly watched Layne to make sure the singer was all right and also in case Layne made a lyrical or verse mistake like he did in St. Louis, Jerry could adjust accordingly. The way Layne was rocking back and forth, he was praying Layne didn’t fall off the stage.

At the end of _God_ Am, the crowd cheered as if Alice In Chains were the headliners and not the opening act for KISS. “This is the first crowd we’ve had standing up. Right on,” Layne said. “This song is called _Sludge Factory_.” He sang the song with no problems. Again he used the ending spoken line of _Your weapon is guilt_.

After _Them Bones_ , the crowd was roaring so loud, Layne barely got a word out. When the audience calmed down, Layne said, “I see a whole lot of you dressed up like some of the members of KISS but no one dressed like me. What’s up with that?”

Sean came down from the drum riser to get a drink as Jerry went into _Rooster_. Layne watched Jerry play the intro until it was time for the harmony. Sean stood on the other side of Jerry holding a lighter in the air. When the crowd mimicked him, Sean climbed up behind his drumkit.

After _Would?_ , Randy helped Layne put on his guitar and he played a few notes and Sean went into _Angry Chair_.

After _Angry Chair_ , Sean jumped down from the drum riser, stepped up to Layne’s microphone, and addressed the audience, “Okay, you guys, shut up a minute. This is serious, really.”

Sean cleared his throat and sang his bad version of KISS’s _Beth_. He got mixed reviews from the audience who responded with boos and cheers immediately. “What, you don’t like the song? Oh, I don’t have the makeup on, right? If I have big shoes and makeup, you love me, right? Well, fuck you, Kansas City!” he quipped before returning to his drumkit as Jerry went into the riff for _A Little Bitter_.

After _Dam That River_ , Layne addressed the audience, “We’ve got one more for you. We’ve been out a week. You’ve definitely been the coolest crowd. I’m not just saying that. We’ve got to do the mandatory crowd-pleaser now.” The band went into _Man in the Box_.

After the song, the four members locked hands and took a group bow. No one in the audience knew they had just witnessed the last time Layne would be onstage with Alice In Chains.

Jerry left Layne alone for a minute or two, but it was long enough for the singer to shoot up. He slid down the wall on the feeling of drugged-out euphoria and blacked out. When Jerry returned he found Layne sprawled out on the floor with his flannel sleeve pulled up to his elbow. Jerry fell to the floor, sliding on his knees to get to Layne. The singer was completely out. Jerry called his name and slapped his face as he had so many times before, but there was nothing. Jerry felt for and found a barely-there pulse.

“Damn it, Layne,” Jerry cursed and then yelled, “Sean! Mike! Call 911.”

Susan Silver was flying back to Seattle the next morning. After her plane landed, she got a phone call saying they couldn’t revive Layne and he was admitted to a hospital in Kansas City, Missouri.

According to Sean, “Those were the last shows we played in public. They went great – they were fun. It was nice being out there. It was only five or six shows, and by the end of the shows, the last one, it was cops, ambulances, and ‘Get on the plane! Hide the drugs!’ The same shit was going on.” In retrospect, following the success of _Unplugged_ , he said, “Right then is when I knew, ‘Okay if we never do anything again, I’m good with this.”

Sean and Mike got on the plane back to Seattle. Jerry stayed behind. No matter how bad Layne’s addiction had become, the guitarist couldn’t leave him in a strange hospital alone. When the EMT asked if he was family, Jerry nodded. Layne took him in when he had no family left in Seattle. Layne was as close to family as he had next to his father. Jerry climbed in the back of the ambulance and watched in stunned silence as the EMTs worked on Layne all the way to the hospital.

By mid-morning, Susan found out which hospital Layne was in and called the room only to have Jerry answer the phone.

“How is he, Jerry?” she asked concerned.

“You should have let him go back to rehab before we started work on Tripod,” Jerry replied.

“Are you blaming me for his choices?” Susan asked taking offense.

“We’re all to blame. I pushed him to do these KISS shows because we were all fans and the opportunity was there,” Jerry said.

“Layne made the choice to shoot up after the show. It is not your fault or my fault. He made his choice,” Susan said.

Jerry promised to tell her when Layne recovered and hung up. He stayed by Layne’s bedside until Layne woke up. If the hospital wasn’t such a public place with nurses walking in all the time, he could touch Layne all he wanted. As it was, he sneaked a quick touch or caress.

“Are you mad at me?” Layne asked groggily, his eyes still closed.

“For overdosing and almost leaving me alone? No, why would I be mad?” Jerry asked.

“Because I couldn’t make it four shows. I really wanted to do this for you. But, I can’t anymore. I just want to go home, Jer,” Layne said.

“You warned me you couldn’t promise anything with this tour. The fact that we even got to play four shows opening for our childhood heroes? That’ll have to be enough,” Jerry said.

“I told you: you deserved better than me. You could have replaced me,” Layne said.

“Layne! I’m not replacing you in any aspect of my life. You’re still our singer. You’re still my best friend. I’m not replacing you or leaving you,” Jerry said exasperated.

Layne recovered and became a recluse after the KISS shows. He returned to the seclusion of his condo and refused to open the door or answer the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

At some point in October 1996, Mike Starr and a friend were walking into Harborview Medical Center when they saw Demri walking out. She said hello and talked to them for a few minutes before going their separate ways. That was the last time Mike Starr saw her. She had lived there for two years and her mother worked there so it wasn’t strange to see her in and out of the place.

About a week before her death, Demri went over to her mother’s apartment and brought her a card. She spoke with her mother’s roommate, whispering something to him that her mother couldn’t make out. It was the last time she saw Demri alive.

After Demri left, her mother asked, “What did Demri want?”

After Demri had died, the roommate revealed to her mother, “She told me something was going to happen. She didn’t know when, but it was going to happen, and I needed to be here because you were going to need me.”

During her final days, Demri was staying with an older man, the father of a friend of hers, at his place. Demri had lived something of a nomadic existence, staying with different people for periods of a few days to a few weeks at a time. Toward the end of her life, it became very difficult for her to find a place to stay. People were afraid to have Demri stay with them because no one wanted her to die at their house.

The older man Demri was staying with seemed to be isolating her away from people to the point no one, not even her mother was able to contact her. At one point her mother tried to get hold of her but the older man gave every excuse why she couldn’t come to the phone. After Demri’s mother threatened to call the police, Demri called her back shortly after.

On the afternoon of October 28, 1996, Demri slipped into a coma while the older man had driven to the store and back home. He couldn’t wake her up so he left her in the car when she never came in the house, he went to check on her and freaked out. Demri was eventually brought in to the emergency room at Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland at 7:30 p.m. – two and a half hours after she first lost consciousness.

Demri’s mother got a phone call from the hospital letting her know Demri was there. By the time she got there, the older man was gone, but he called her later to fill her in on the details. Demri’s mother was joined by Demri’s aunt as they sat with her unconscious. They stayed with Demri through the night, leaving only to get some sleep. The next morning when they returned to the hospital, Demri had passed away while they were gone. Demri was confirmed deceased twelve hours after she was admitted. She was twenty-seven years old. She died of acute intoxication caused by the combined effects of opiate, meprobamate, and butalbital.

Layne’s stepfather, Jim Elmer, got a phone call from Demri’s mother that morning, informing him that Demri had passed away. After going to the hospital to see Demri’s family, he called Susan Silver and they agreed to see Layne. He had already heard the bad news. By the time they got to Layne’s, the singer was waiting for Mark Lanegan, who arrived a few minutes after them. They said their condolences and left Layne alone with Mark.

Demri’s death devastated Layne. A few months later, Layne asked her mother for the teddy bear Demri had with her in the hospital and a few other things. It took another few weeks and an accidental meeting on a busy street to exchange the items. The consensus was that Layne never got over Demri’s death. He used her death as the catalyst to go into a drug-induced tailspin in which he would take his addiction to lengths few could imagine or sustain.

It was Kevan Wilkins, now the tour manager of Screaming Trees since Layne refused to tour, who told Mark that Demri had passed away and Layne was trying to get hold of him. Screaming Trees were in Europe on tour for six weeks when Layne said he didn’t want to be alone. Mark offered for Layne to stay at his apartment with another drug addict who was playing house-sitter.

Layne stayed at Mark’s place for four months after Demri died. He never stopped grieving Demri’s death. After a while, Layne’s biological father Phil showed up and stayed for a while as a runner for Mark. Layne would often nod off in the weirdest positions. Nonetheless, he became angry whenever his dad quietly nodded off sitting on the couch. There were some obvious issues between father and son that Mark found himself in the middle of.

After four months of dealing with the living situation of his own addiction, his drug addict father, and Lanegan, and to get away from the painful memories of Demri, Layne sold his old place and in April 1997, he bought a three-bedroom, fifteen-hundred-square-foot, fifth-floor condominium at a building directly in the center of Seattle’s University District for $262,000. The name on the lease was Larusta Trust / John Larusta, an alias Layne was using at the time.

At some point, after Layne moved in, Toby Wright had set up a home recording studio at the new condo. The way Toby described it, Layne had some digital audiotapes, a small console, and he had set up guitar paths, vocal paths, and a keyboard path as well as some other things where Layne could just go in, hit a button, and record. He also had a little drum machine so he could do demos.

When Layne finally allowed Jerry to come over to the new condo it was awkward. Layne was still grieving Demri’s death. He had just removed himself from a horror show version of _Three’s Company_ starring Lanegan, his biological father, and himself. After that drama, Layne craved the isolation of his own place. He had set up security cameras again. And up until this visit with Jerry, he refused to let anyone in at all.

When Layne opened the door and Jerry walked in and shut the door, they stared at each other. Layne’s face had sunken in from the depression, the addiction, and his grieving. “Demri’s gone,” was all Layne said before Jerry hugged him.

“I’m sorry, Layne. I know how you felt about her,” Jerry said softly.

After that day, Jerry would be at Layne’s condo a lot. He tried to keep Layne interested in music, hoping to pull him out of his grieving state. Jerry knew he had lost the battle with Layne’s addiction, but he refused to let Layne slip into a catatonic grieving state. Layne would play him little instrumentals and maybe show him a lyric sheet he was working on. Jerry would reciprocate by playing Layne the music he was working on for his solo album Boggy Depot. In the end, they would end up laying on the bed talking about Demri. Layne’s sex drive was long gone, but that was okay. Jerry just enjoyed being close to Layne again – physically and emotionally. Even though, he did miss the old Layne.

In 1997, Layne did do a guest recording. His friend, Ron Holt’s bother, Jesse, formerly of Second Coming, was working on a new project under the moniker the Despisley Brothers. Layne recorded his guest vocal for the chorus and second verse of the song _The Things You Do_ , which was musically different from an earlier version he recorded with Ron Holt in 1988. There were at least two recorded versions of the song, the first from the spring and summer of 1996. The second was dated November 3, 1997.

Musically and lyrically, the two later versions are the same. However, in November, Layne’s vocals sounded different. He sounded apathetic and there was no power or feeling in the performance. They ended up boosting the level on Layne’s vocals in the 1997 version because his voice was so soft and quiet.

When Jerry tapped Toby to work on Boggy Depot with him, Jerry had Mike and Sean come in to play but not Layne. Toby thought maybe they weren’t speaking, and Jerry didn’t help matters by keeping what he and Layne did at the new condo a secret. Jerry had just gotten to the point that he was keeping whatever he and Layne had going to himself after the mess their “public” affair turned into. He had talked Layne into doing the KISS shows and it ended with Layne overdosing in Kansas City, Missouri. He wasn’t going to force Layne to be in a position like that again.

In August 1998, David Jerden was working on the Offspring’s Americana album at his El Dorado studio. Jerden got a call saying Alice in Chains wanted to record two new songs with Layne for the Music Bank box set. Turns out, that in all that time of going to Layne’s condo, Jerry had shown him the music to two songs he was going to put on the Degradation Trip album, but Layne took a liking to them and wrote lyrics for the two instrumentals.

The Offspring agreed to a weekend off from recording where Alice In Chains can use August 22-23 to record the two songs. Because it was Layne’s birthday, Jerden’s runner Trujillo, wanted to buy him a cake and candles. Jerry, Sean, and Mike arrived in the late morning or early afternoon. Sean got all his parts down in four takes. Mike recorded his bass parts, and then Jerry recorded his rhythm guitar parts and some overdubs. Jerden’s assistant took pictures of the session.

Everyone was excited to see Layne. He showed up around 3:00 a.m. When he walked in the door, the change in his physical appearance was striking even from his final performances two years earlier. When he was maybe a hundred and twenty-something pounds in 1996, he was down to ninety pounds in 1998. He had grown his hair down past his shoulders and it was a natural honey blonde color. He wore a white cap, eyeglasses, a dark gray shirt, and a blue Dallas Cowboys jacket. Around his neck was a chain that had what appeared to be a pipe hanging on the end and he carried a black leather satchel.

Jerden’s assistant didn’t recognize him. To him, Layne resembled an eighty-year-old man. He didn’t have any teeth. He had atrophy in his legs. There were flashes of Layne of old. The humor and wit were still inside the shell. They set Layne up in a control room with the finished tacks so that Layne could rework his lyrics. He went to the bathroom and stayed there a long time before returning to the control room.

Layne played the drum machine and they celebrated his birthday. By the time he got around to wanting to work, it was 5:00 a.m. and everyone was exhausted since some of them had been there for nearly twenty-four hours. Jerden mentioned they could work on Layne’s vocals the next day.

When Layne said he had to get back to Seattle the next day to attend his sister’s wedding, Jerry abruptly cut him off in an exasperated tone, “ _Laaaaaayne_.”

Suddenly, Layne turned into a little kid that had been reprimanded severely by his parents. It was weird. Layne and Jerry were the two strongest personalities in the band and Layne just closed in on himself when Jerry raised his voice. After that, Layne froze up and didn’t say another thing. To David Jerden, he thought Layne was almost afraid of Jerry.

Of course, he took the opportunity to pile on and turned on Layne then, saying, “Listen, I’m not here to be your friend. I have a job to do.”

At the time the band recorded the song, Layne’s heroin addiction was getting the best of him. David Jerden stated that Layne was “as white as a ghost” and was very skinny. Jerry refused to comment on Layne’s condition.

Jerden tried to book a studio in Seattle for Layne’s convenience to record his vocals, but by that point, Layne didn’t want to work with Jerden anymore. Layne must have told Susan Silver as much because she was furious when she called Jerden to read him the riot act. Of course, when _Rolling Stone_ found out about the whole altercation, they wrote about it.

In the Music Bank box set liner notes, Jerry would say of the situation, “We tried to work with Dave Jerden again and that didn’t work out for various uncomfortable reasons. We had tracked with him in L.A., and then we went up to Seattle with Toby Wright. So considering it was done in different states with different producers, I think it turned out to be pretty classic Alice.

While that was going on, Toby Wright got a call from Layne and Kevan, asking if he would be willing to finish the project. Toby booked time at Robert Lang Studios to record the vocals and mix them with the material from the session with Jerden.

Because of the blow-up in Jerden’s studio, Jerry and Layne were uneasy around each other. Jerry wanted to apologize for his outburst, but he was trying to get Layne to focus on the job they needed to do and not run away and get high like he usually did. Now, Layne was afraid to talk to him for fear of setting Jerry off again. So Toby compromised by having one guy in and then the other one.

The two songs required a lot of Pro-Tools editing. That was one of the first times Alice In Chains was ever on Pro-Tools. Layne would do something, go home and Jerry would come in. Toby would change it for him and Jerry would go home. Layne would come in and hear what they did, and he’d change it again and go home.

Recording Layne’s vocals were difficult because of the loss of his teeth, which resulted in a lisp that affected his speech and singing ability. They tried to stay away from lyrics that accentuated the lisp. It was hard to do because the lisp appeared everywhere on the songs. However, Toby and Layne had a great working relationship. It was just a matter of getting Layne in the studio and getting him in a creative headspace.

 _Get Born Again_ and _Died_ were the last songs Layne recorded with Alice In Chains. _Get Born Again_ , during the 1999 _Rockline_ interview, Layne said jokingly was about religious hypocrisy. _Died_ , on the other hand, was clearly about Demri’s death with lyrics like: _I could climb until I reach where angels reside / Ask around to find out where the junkies applied_ and _Still you leave me rotting on this rock all alone / It's my fault for knowing not what I should have known_.

In the late summer or early fall of 1998, a supergroup called Class of ’99 came together with Rage Against the Machine’s Tom Morello and a producer Matt Serletic to record a cover of _Another Brick in the Wall Part 2_ for the forthcoming science fiction/horror flick **_The Faculty_**. They borrowed the rhythm section from Jane’s Addiction. They didn’t have a singer yet until someone mentioned Layne.

Serletic went to Seattle to record Layne on a Friday, bringing with him an engineer and a Pro-Tools editor. Layne was _supposed to_ arrive at nine o’clock, but it was more like one o’clock in the morning. According to Serletic, Layne looked rough. He had very few teeth left and was incredibly shy. The physical change since she had last seen him in 1996 shocked Susan Silver.

It wasn’t until three in the morning when Layne was ready to work. At first, his vocals were a paper-thin whisper. It got stronger as he got comfortable with the track. As was Layne’s trademark, they stacked his vocals with harmonies underneath. Once he got his voice where he wanted it, he nailed the takes. His lisp was apparent, so Serletic had to redo some of the material where the ‘s’ sound was pronounced. They finished at 4:30 in the morning. Layne seemed fairly excited about it.

For Layne’s scenes in the accompanying music video, Sony/Columbia used file footage of Mad Season live at the Moore.

When asked years later about working with Layne on the Class of ’99, Tom Morello tweeted, “Mostly sad. He was not well bless him.”

When Jerry was on tour with Metallica to support the album, _Boggy Depot_ , the Halloween show was at the Showbox in Seattle. Layne went to the show but kept a low profile. Layne watched the performance from backstage and possibly from the audience. Jerry tried to get Layne to go onstage and sing with him, but Layne declined.


	3. A VERY LONG PostScript

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be re-edits as I re-read this later when I’m not crying. Writing this has not put me off ever writing Alice In Chains fic. If you have an idea you want me to explore for another Alice In Chains fic, leave it in the comments. Just be warned, Layne’s death haunts me when I think about it. (Layne has stuck with me more than any other musician I’ve been overly interested in.)

My thoughts . . .

My thoughts are I really don’t want to write Layne’s death for two reasons. 1) I really don’t know how Jerry, Sean, and Mike grieved the loss of Layne. I know Sean started smoking at the vigil they had for him. 2) My own sanity because when I really think of Layne’s death it haunts me.

As for the KISS shows: Why would Layne torture himself the way he did by going out there and performing one show let alone four of them? He did it because Jerry talked him around to agreeing because they were all KISS fans and the opportunity presented itself. Jerry didn’t want to pass it up and the band would have regretted not doing it.

Layne was an amazing singer. Very few singers sound better live than they do in a studio version. Layne was one of the few. From what I’ve read and researched, heroin is the worst drug to be addicted to. You don’t want to do anything other than be there and nodding out. The fact that he agreed to do the KISS shows and performed them like he did shows the strength he had. From what I read, when you have the level of addiction he had, it is incredibly difficult to function at the intensity of performing a stage show in front of an audience as well as he did. He could have stayed home and stayed high, but Jerry wanted to do the shows. Somewhere Layne found the strength to do those shows despite what his addiction wanted him to do even though it got him in the end.

As for _Get Born Again_ and _Died_ , when they did Tripod, Layne's drug use was getting bad. The _Unplugged_ show in 1996 is so heartbreaking to watch because he was deep in his heroin addiction. Jerry showed Layne the music for _Died_ and _Get Born Again_. Layne wrote the lyrics for those songs, but when he showed up to record them, he had dropped to 90 pounds, he lost nearly all his teeth and had a lisp and **he still** killed the vocals.

During that session, Jerry was finally at the end of his rope. He had **years** of learning to work around Layne's addiction. He knew when Layne said something about his sister's wedding that it was a ruse to leave the studio, hold up somewhere and get high. You can also chalk the mention of his sister's wedding up to Layne losing time. (As much as I could care less about Mark Lanegan and his role in Layne's situation) Mark said after he'd cleaned up, he went to see Layne and Mark had been clean for a year. Layne saw him and thought he'd only been gone for two-three months. Layne had no sense of time right then – that a year had passed since he'd last seen Lanegan.

Layne had done so much for Jerry. But getting a front-row seat to witness what had happened to Layne over the years, Jerry had to watch his best friend deteriorate in a span of **twelve years** (1990-2002), and Jerry couldn't do anything about it. Jerry had talked himself blue in the face but Layne didn't want help. Alice In Chains was a band, but they were also a family. They had internal issues just like any family. In this case, Layne's addiction was front and center. Jerry got pissed at him, trying to get Layne to focus and get the job done. Because they still had a damn contract to fulfill with Sony/Columbia with the Music Bank box set. After that, they just did a Live album, a Greatest Hits and The Essential Alice In Chains (greatest hits) albums to finish out the contract. Whenever Jerry wanted Alice In Chains to work on something, he **always** wanted Layne to sing. He never thought of replacing Layne while Layne was still alive.

Jerry and Layne not being on speaking terms wasn’t like some of you think. That weekend Jerry was just fed up with having to work around Layne's addiction. When Layne died, it was like losing a loved one, a family member, you don't think of the fights you had with the person who died. You defend their memory. There is a reason Jerry wrote _No Excuses_ about Layne and the line " _You, my friend, I will defend / And if we change, well, I'll love you anyway_."

I’ve never been addicted to anything. I hate to even take Tylenol for a headache. With that said, hopefully, I somehow conveyed throughout this story how Jerry and Layne’s relationship was and how Jerry had to watch Layne go through this addiction where he was very little help. I hope the portrayal of Layne dealing with his addiction wasn’t too far-fetched and the depression and hopelessness of the path he’d chosen could still be felt when you read it.

Layne Staley was **not** a hopeless junkie. He was so much more than his addiction.

\-- He met Jerry Cantrell **one time** , found out he had no family in the area, he had little money left and Layne (drunkenly) offered Jerry a place to live, he gave Jerry the guitars and gear he needed, Layne set Jerry up with a life could **not** fail unless Jerry let it happen. He set him up with a band when he gave Jerry the number to Sean Kinney's girlfriend and found out that the girlfriend was Mike Starr's sister. He encouraged Jerry to sing more because after all, they were Jerry's lyrics, Jerry should sing them. I'm sure Jerry would have made it on his own without Layne, but it would have been the long scenic route to get there.  
  
\-- Jerry wrote _Rooster_ about his father's experiences in Vietnam and when Jerry saw his dad in the audience at one of their shows while opening for Iggy Pop, Jerry asked Layne (and the guys) to play _Rooster_ and they did. It was the first time Jerry's dad heard Jerry's music and knew that his son understood him through that song. It brought Jerry and his dad closer together. And Layne had a vital part in that reunion. (Meanwhile, Layne's own biological father was an opportunist who reunited with his son **_after_** he saw him on a magazine cover and proceeded to get high with him. Part of Layne’s issue with Phil Staley was the fact that when he came back into Layne’s life, he wasn’t the father Layne expected. Layne did deserve a better father. Layne’s stepdad, Jim Elmer was the father Phil never was.)  
  
\-- He was soft-spoken, but he had a sense of humor and wit that never left him even to the end. No matter how deep he was into his heroin addiction, Layne always cared about his band, friends, and family. He and Jerry may have had a rough time recording the last two songs, but I’d like to think that Jerry was able to patch things up with Layne over it before Layne died.

\-- Layne’s vocal range can run rings around any other grunge singer (including Chris Cornell) in my opinion. Layne could sing the phone book and never hit a wrong note. Even at the end of his life, with no teeth and a lisp, his voice, wit, and humor were all still there. Layne's voice and vocal range were so powerful he did **not** need autotune or pro-tools until he lost his teeth and had a lisp around 1998, and even then he still killed the vocals. He stacked his own vocals, lyrics, harmonies, etc he did it all himself. (Yes, I know I’ll get flack for saying Layne was better than Chris Cornell. The same way I get flack for my opinion of Demri.)

\-- Barrett Martin (who played with Layne in Mad Season) said that when he stood to the side of the stage, he could hear the sound of Layne vocal resonance come out of Layne's body **louder** than it did coming out of the speakers, Layne's voice was that powerful.

\-- The Dirt album, most of the songs written by Layne, aside from a handful of them, concern his own feelings about his drug addiction. He knew he had made a mistake by getting into drugs. He wanted his fans to **learn from** his mistakes, he never wanted them to follow in his footsteps. Having a fan come up and tell him they were high was the exact opposite of what he intended.

\-- Everyone has come to the conclusion that though they were broke up by 1996, his former fiancee, Demri's death in October 1996 sent Layne into a drug-induced tailspin.  
  
\-- People didn't see Layne outside of sporadic outings after the KISS shows. Other musicians tried to spark a creative flair in Layne to see if they could help him, and he'd light up for the time it took to do the project and then shut down again. If you listen to the two times he called into Rockline in 1998 and 1999, he's still Layne, with his humor and wit.

\-- Mike Starr was the last person to see Layne alive. On April 4, 2002, Mike went to Layne’s condo. What I got from the interaction was that even though Layne told Mike he was sick having possibly contracted hepatitis C from intravenous drug use, Layne still tried to get Mike to give up his prescription drug addiction. Layne was channel surfing and stumbled on Crossing Over. He turned to Mike and said, “Demri was here last night. I don’t give a fuck if you fucking believe me or not, dude. I’m telling you: Demri was here last night.”

Mike, who was high on benzodiazepine, later said he was with Layne, “trying to keep him alive” and offered to call 911. Layne refused and threatened to never speak to him again if he did. Layne got agitated, telling Mike he was too high. Layne told him he was an idiot on the pills. Mike had enough. “Fine, I’ll just leave,” he told Layne. Layne, perhaps thinking he had made a mistake, said, “Not like this – don’t leave like this.” Those would be his final words to a friend he had known for nearly fifteen years. Mike went to his mother’s house and blacked out in the basement. The final encounter with Layne would haunt him for years afterward.

After that, no one noticed he had died because he never answered the phone nor opened the door. Sean Kinney and Krist Novoselic would leave food for him, but he refused to open the door to them. It took inactivity over the span of two weeks for his accountant to notice something was wrong and called Susan Silver who called Layne's mother to alert her to the situation who then called 911.

At some point on April 5, 2002, Layne mixed heroin and cocaine. It was a lethal combination that had killed numerous celebrities before Layne did it. No one knows what Layne did or his thought process before he took that final hit.

In the 1996 hit-piece _The Needle and the Damage Done_ , Layne reflected on spirituality, “I’m going to be here for a long fuckin’ time . . . I’m scared of death, especially death by my own hand. I’m scared of where I would go. Not that I ever consider that because I don’t.” He contradicted himself in the same interview though. He didn’t believe that there was eternal damnation for anyone. “I’m not into religion, but I have a good grasp on my spirituality. I just believe that I’m not the greatest power on earth. I didn’t create myself, because I would have done a hell of a better job.” He would be dead a little more than six years later.

Listen to Alice In Chains and the songs Layne wrote and wrung his heart and soul out singing. Listen to what he was trying to say on the Dirt album about his own feelings on his drug addiction and Tripod, then maybe you wouldn't judge Layne so harshly. At the age of thirty-four, he looked more like an eighty-year-old man. He knew he screwed up, between the drugs and his own depression and then his former fiancee dying, Layne just couldn't find a way to dig himself out of his own mess, and at the end with his teeth problems and organs failing on him, he gave up trying. He lost sight of who his true friends were and who was using him. He was never going to give up the drugs. Instead, he tried to attain the same high he felt the first time he did drugs and could never achieve it.

Layne's whole situation from his drug addiction, to how he died, to how he was found only weighing 86 pounds and the drug paraphernalia, etc is tragic and haunts me when I think about it (and I didn't even know the guy personally).

I'm in the camp of No Layne/No Chains, because no matter which singer you put up there to sing those songs, it'll only be a cover. Layne had a unique voice you cannot replicate or replace. A lot of those songs were great because Layne pretty much wrung his entire soul out singing them, others were personal to Layne and to have someone else sing those, the songs lose their meaning because the new guy didn't go through the ordeals those songs are inspired by.

William singing _Them Bones_ on the 2006 reunion tsunami gig.... William **does not** have the power in his voice that Layne had especially for that song. Maynard James Keenan could get remotely close to Layne's vocal range for that song (and many others). And Maynard would have the reverence for Layne's memory, he was friends with Layne, he **knew** Layne, had a history with Layne, and saw what Layne went through from Lollapalooza 93 until Layne became a recluse. Besides, Maynard already had three bands going on, why not join a fourth band?

I ran into Jerry doing _Got Me Wrong_ with STP... that felt almost sacrilegious and off-key without Layne just watching it.

If you read David de Sola's book, yes, Layne's life is tragic and it's haunting how he died, how he was found. But the guy had a life that he lived to the utmost (even with his addiction issues that ultimately made him a recluse and later killed him.)

If you read Mark Lanegan's book, according to his narrative, all I got was that Layne lived a bleak existence after Mark met him. In my opinion, he could claim Layne to be a twin brother he never had and all, and he probably didn't make Layne's situation worse, but he also didn't help matters any either. In fact, when Layne stayed with him for four months or so after Demri died before moving to the isolation of the condo, **Layne** was paying the rent on Mark's place. He was using Layne for money and a drug supply. All the while telling Jerry, "Sure, I can get in and get him into a recording studio for you." So, yeah, Mark's book didn't impress me unless it was to prove that "hey, you can call the guy your best friend while using him to pay for your rent and your next fix." I did notice that after a few tour dates, Lanegan never gives a timeline, so you have to guess when some events occur that he talks about.

There's also a section in the book, where **Demri** has heart surgery ( **that Layne paid for** ), and she shows up on Lanegan's doorstep looking for junk in her hospital gown and an IV pole, having come from the recovery room **after** they put a pacemaker in her body due to endocarditis! Can't see how anyone, least of all **Lanegan** kept that stunt from Layne. *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

No wonder Layne died in isolation. Demri didn't even think to be grateful for the pacemaker or the man who had paid for it because **he loved her** more than she loved him. She just went looking for the next hit. And what he had to deal with while staying at Mark's place. I'd isolate myself in a condo and not answer the door or phone too if I were him. But Layne lost sight of who was using him and who was an actual true friend.

Mike McCready and Maynard James Keenan were more of a friend to Layne (as much as he could be with a drug addict) than Lanegan was. What the hell was Jerry thinking flying Lanegan up to Seattle to get Layne out of the condo? Mark Lanegan (and Demri, who I was never a fan of) and the way he describes Layne leading a bleak life (parts of it were bleak maybe, but not **all** of it like Lanegan makes it seem) pissed me off.

There are times where Jerry pissed me off, one of the many things is restarting Alice In Chains with a new singer. He fell into the trap Ray Manzarek did when he restarted the Doors with new singers. Jerry should have changed the name with the new singer or reform under a different name completely, a la Mother Love Bone dissolving and re-emerging as Pearl Jam.

I have a tendency to be attracted to tragic figures. There is Ian Curtis of Joy Division, who had depression and epilepsy. He would have seizures onstage during live performances. His wife was about to divorce him. On the night before Joy Division was going to do their first US/Canada tour, he asked his wife to stop divorce proceedings and then requested to be alone in the house. He hanged himself in his kitchen.

And there’s Jim Morrison. Jim was always an intellectual. He was a poet. He was more than a rock star that took too much peyote or LSD or cocaine. I have all his bios and his poetry books and An American Prayer on CD. Even in his lyrics, Jim was an intellectual. He never wrote "dumb, catchy hooks". He read German Philosophers like Friedrich Nietzsche and Franz Kafka. Jim Morrison is who got **me** into reading Nietzsche and Kafka. Jim had a **genius IQ of 149**. He met Ray Manzarek at UCLA Film School. He was going to be a filmmaker before he told Ray about his poetry lyrics and they formed The Doors. Jim Morrison was amazing. He was definitely more than you see in that falsified movie Oliver Stone put out in 1991 where Stone made up some of Jim's history for "dramatic license". Jim started out with drugs for enlightenment. He'd go out in the desert and just spend the day high as if he were on a spiritual journey. But even after the Miami Indecency Trial, he went to Paris to unwind from it all fully intending to return to the states. He had a phone conversation with either Ray or Robby Krieger talking about how great the L.A. Woman album was coming along and how he couldn't wait to sing the songs live. His death due to a cocaine-induced heart failure just happened to be when he was in a bathtub in Paris. He wasn’t planning on his death, just as Layne didn’t plan to overdose on his couch.

I see Layne Staley and Jim Morrison, in the same way, a little bit. Where Jim was only musically active from 1964/65 - 1970.... that's 6 years... there was a finality to his passing. Maybe it had to do with the other band members not doing anything for so many years after Jim died until Manzarek decided to regroup with new singers as The Doors of the 21st Century.

With Layne ... Layne was around a lot longer than Jim... 12 years, but in that span, Layne was probably only active the same amount of time as Jim as far as albums and live shows over the years (not the actual amount of shows between the two, but the **years** they were seen at live events). Layne's story is more tragic and haunting because you can actually watch and hear him deteriorate over the twelve-year span: from the mild use of drugs all the way through 1996 when he was deep into a heroin addiction to dropping to 90 pounds by 1998 to 86 pounds when he died. Both Layne and Jim kept their humor and wit even to the end of their lives.

Layne was able to come up with lyrics and harmonies off the top of his head. He knew enough to know that Jerry Cantrell was playing with the wrong people and gave him contact info for Sean Kinney and Mike Starr. He wrote the lyrics for the songs he sang on Mad Season's Above album and drew the cover art for that album. Layne was a genius in his own right. Maybe not with the 149 IQ, but he still was able to figure things out in a snap off the top of his head. Layne just had his demons.

"I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -- Jim Morrison

"Whatever dramas are going on in my life, I always find that place inside my head where I see myself as the cleanest, tallest, strongest, wisest person that I can be." -- Layne Staley

"If my poetry aims to achieve anything, it's to deliver people from the limited ways in which they see and feel." -- Jim Morrison

"My bad habits aren't my title. My strengths and my talent are my title." -- Layne Staley

"Drugs are a bet with your mind." -- Jim Morrison

"When I tried drugs they were fucking great, and they worked for me for years, and now they're turning against me- and now I'm walking through hell and this sucks. I wrote about drugs, and I didn't think I was being unsafe or careless by writing about them. I didn't want my fans to think heroin was cool. But then I've had fans come up to me and give me the thumbs up, telling me they're high. That's exactly what I didn't want to happen." -- Layne Staley

"People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend." ~ Jim Morrison

"I'm not into religion, but I have a good grasp on my spirituality. I just believe that I'm not the greatest power on this earth. I didn’t create myself, because I would have done a hell of a better job." ~ Layne Staley

"Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my blackouts." -- Jim Morrison

I currently have a 40 x 27 framed poster of Layne singing when he was healthy hanging on the wall above my monitor in my office. I look at it every day and try to imagine what his legacy was. As I go down the rabbit hole here, let me say I’m agnostic. Whether you believe Jesus Christ was merely a prophet or he was the son of God, the fact remains, he existed. He was on this earth for 33 years. He was born knowing his whole life he existed to die.

Layne did exist. He was on this earth for 34 years. In that time he wrote songs that gave a normal person insight into the mind and journey of an addict. The pain and depression he endured to write the most brutally honest lyrics a musician could write concerning his feelings on his own addiction and the emotional and physical strength he had to perform those songs live when all he wanted to do was curl away and lose himself in the drug haze I can’t imagine what it was like for him. He was hounded by the press about his addiction. He was ridiculed for his addiction. The music industry blackballed him for his addiction. The Grammys _forgot_ about him when he died. As far as MTV and _Rolling Stone_ were concerned he’s just another addicted singer. They don’t want to acknowledge his contributions to music.

I could say so much more, but in the end, it all boils down to: Layne Staley deserved better than what he received from the people around him who he thought mattered. He wrote about things with maturity and knowledge well beyond his years. He didn’t deserve to be turned into tabloid cannon fodder by the press.

All of Jerry’s feelings toward Layne (other than him being fed up at the end) were my own developing feelings for Layne as I wrote this story. I’ve come to love Layne despite his addiction. I came to understand what Layne was trying to do with his lyrics both with Alice In Chains and Mad Season. One of these days I hope his legacy is more than that of just another junkie.


End file.
